SEASON'S GREETINGS!

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
Everybody felt shitty, even the mouse.
Mom on the toilet, Dad smoking grass,
I had just settled down for a nice piece of ass.
When out on the roof I heard such a clatter,
I sprung from my piece To see what was the matter.
Out on the roof I saw some old prick -
I knew in a moment it must be Saint Nick.
He came down the chimney like a bat out of Hell,
I knew in a second the fucker had fell.
He filled the stockings with whiskey and beer,
And a big rubber dick for my brother the queer.
He rose up the chimney with a thundering fart,
The son-of-a-bitch blew my chimney apart!
He swore and he cussed as he rose out of sight:
    PISS ON YOU ALL,
    IT'S BEEN ONE HELL OF A NIGHT!!!