WORKPLACE HAZARDOUS MATERIALS INFORMATION SHEET
                MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET
                Woman: A Chemical Analysis

    ELEMENT:  Woman
     SYMBOL:  WO2
 DISCOVERER:  Adam
ATOMIC MASS:  Accepted at 118 lbs, but known to vary from 100 to 250 lbs.
 OCCURRENCE:  Copious quantities in urban areas.

PHYSICAL PROPERIES:
  1) Surface usually covered with a painted film.
  2) Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
  3) Melts if given special treatment.
  4) Bitter if used incorrectly.
  5) Found in various stages ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
  6) Yeilds to pressure applied to correct points.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
  1) Has a great affinity for gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones.
  2) Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
  3) May explode spontaneously, without prior warning, for no known reason.
  4) Insoluable in liquids, but activity greatly increased by saturation
       in alcohol.
  5) Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES:
  1) Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
  2) Can be a great aid to relaxation.

TESTS:
  1) Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state.
  2) Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

HAZARDS:
  1) Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
  2) Illegal to possess more than one.