A Twelve-Step Program for the Dead ---------------------------------- by Terrel L. Templeman, Ph.D. Oregon Trail of Technology The _Journal of Polymorphous Perversity_ was the first publication to address an often neglected though certainly grave topic in the field of psychotherapy, namely therapy of the dead (Menahem, 1984; Templeman, 1984). Although published studies employing psychotherapy and pharmacotherapy demonstrated promise in clinical trials with dead clients, mental health professionals have generally found this type of client most resistant to entering treatment (Burke & Hare, 1988). Recently, a self-help literature for the dead has been promoted as an alternative to therapist-directed approaches (Barnum, 1989), but the low sales of books such as _Dead Who Love Too Much_ and _Dead No More_ suggest that the dead are not receptive to this approach either. My colleagues and I at Oregon Trail of Technology believe that a new approach to this lifeless field must be undertaken if the dead are to be engaged in treatment effectively. We present here for the first time a 12-step program for the dead, which is modeled closely after other 12-step programs. Dead Ones Anonymous (DOA) groups allow dead to meet in supportive, anonymous settings to develop mutual trust and to realize that they are not alone in their dead pursuits. Most dead come from dysfunctional families, and we have encouraged DOA members to share their feelings about the burden of being unjustly maligned or irrationally revered by the living, a burden strikingly apparent in the facial expressions of group members. Topics in these groups range from ego boundary problems (especially salient for the borderline dead) to living up to the expectations of others. (We have discovered that living up to anything can be very difficult for the dead.) Unlike other 12-step programs, DOA groups are best facilitated by a non-dead member. Without at least one living participant, these meetings often degenerate into protracted and embarrassing silences. The facilitator also helps to keep participants focused of the 12 steps, not to mention sitting upright in their chairs. What Are The 12 Steps? ---------------------- 1. Accept the fact that you are dead. Stop fighting it. Remind yourself that death is simply nature's way of telling you to slow down. 2. Take responsibility for your own inertia. Stop blaming it on those around you. Remember, today is the first day of the rest of your death. 3. Give your burdens up to a higher power and don't try to play God. Recite the Serenity Prayer and pray for the wisdom to know the difference between life and death. 4. Take a holiday. In fact, take a vacation once in a while. Don't take death so seriously. Remember, you only die once. 5. Remind yourself that death is a disease. It begins the day you are born, progresses until the day you die, and then takes over completely. For 10 out of every 10 people, this disease is fatal. 6. Admit that you are powerless over death. If you thought life was unmanageable, just try keep all your loose ends together when you are dead! 7. Make a searching and fearless mortal inventory of yourself. See what you can find. 8. Humbly ask someone to see that your grave is kept clean. 9. Know that you are not alone in this affliction. 10. Remember that things could always be worse. 11. Relinquish materialism and let go of worldly possessions. Remember, you can't take it with you. 12. Strive for a spiritual awakening as long as you are dead, and remember: It's never too late to try for heaven. The Role of the Family ---------------------- Family members are encouraged to attend other groups for survivors, codependants of the dead, and adult children of the dead. These groups allow family members to better understand their own dysfunctional relationships with the dead, usually rooted in an inability to bury the past. Toward this end, family members are taught an intervention called the Internment, which helps them to lay to rest not only unresolved conflicts with the dead but the body of the problem itself. Families are generally relieved after the Internment, although for the dead themselves it is only the first step to recovery. Thus, therapists in our program are encouraged to work individually with the dead after the Internment, as much uncovering is necessary before dead clients are ready to attend group meetings. References ---------- Barnum, Jr., P.T. (1989). Waking the dead: New markets for old ideas. _Bibliotherapy Today_, 12, 1-25. Burke, E., & Hare, W. (1988). Engaging the recently dead for science and profit. _Necrotherapy: Theory, Research, and Practice_, 104, 312-320. Manahem, S.E. (1984). Psychotherapy of the dead. _Journal of Poly- morphous Perversity_, I(l), 3-6. Templeman, T.L. (1984). [Letter to the editor]. _Journal of Polymor- phous Perversity_, I(2), 3. From the Book: Freudulent Encounters by Glenn C. Ellenbogen, Ph.D. Re-printed by: Xenophilosophus No permission asked, none granted.