Subj : Somehow we'll get one out on time... Name : Mushroom #52 @2600 Yaki-Net Phile : ALLIKNOW.TXT CDate : Sun Dec 05 22:16:43 1993 #2 Edit1 : Wed Dec 08 01:57:36 1993 #1 Edit2 : Thu Dec 09 12:37:69 1993 #2 Apprvd: Fri Dec 10 08:28:59 1993 #1 ---------------------------------------------- All I Ever Needed To Know I Learned From BBS's ---------------------------------------------- On those rare occasions when I had a few minutes to spare between major computer projects such as playing TradeWars or debugging QuickBasic programs, I typed a document of what I figured reality was; an Assumption. This start- ed out small but soon expanded to fill the floppy I'd designated for the file. Eventually I had a track-0 error and had to start from scratch. This gave me the opportunity to distill the Assumption, what I could remember of it, into something more succinct. The Assumption then came down to a few K, and has been saved onto at least 3 floppies and into most major word processor document formats. My inspiration to increase the number of "originals" and broaden the ways I could print it was my experience in fast food. People would buy the same old excrement, no matter what you called it or how much you charged for it. The difference between two burgers priced a buck and a quarter apart was the type of bun and a squirt of canned nacho cheese food product; the only thing different between a Pepperoni Mongers pizza and a regular pizza with extra pepperoni was twelve red dots and three dollars. "SSDD" does not merely mean "single-side/single-density" after all, does it? I really don't know much about what it takes to live in the real world, despite 13 years of public school and my growing up with irksome parents and siblings. Not a blame thing. But I did pick up some things from my life online which have proven useful and practical. My main Assumption: ALL I EVER NEEDED TO KNOW about the real world and how to get through it came from calling computer bulletin boards. Cybernautics have shown me more truths than all my courses and classes. Here's what I've learned: Upload more than you download. Giving more than you receive insures that you will always be able to receive more later. Cheating at online games will get your access lowered, though it can be fun and in some cases extremely easy. Do not be quick to judge people based on their status. Cosysops are good people and sometimes know more about the workings of a BBS than the sysop; people below your userlevel might have files you want. Do not flame unless you actually know what you're talking about; this is the easiest cure for "foot-in-keyboard disease." The more places you upload a file, the better the chance is that when you have a disk crash you will be able to get the file back (and the more likely you'll have a good enough UL/DL ratio to download it promptly). Log off instead of just hanging up. There are people like yourself trying to get online to one-node boards, so don't be a line-hog. Three hours of TradeWars yields a sore bottom. Uploading FORMAT.COM for credit is a no-no. Take time to read the messages and view the ANSI animations. Somebody worked hard to create these things, and they are just as valuable to their creators as the messages and animations you make are to you. Multitask. Trust everyone but use the virus scanner anyway. A little paranoia is healthy, and paranoia contained in your own home is better than that which is displayed publicly. Phrase criticism politely; some people can't see the message for the medium and will lock you out of their boards for pointing out glitches. Hard cookies and warm soda are good for you. Live a balanced life -- upload some and read messages and reply publicly to some and chat and view GIFs and email every day some. Get some sleep every afternoon. Not only should you be brief (compress your files for uploading) but you should also be understandable (use PKZIP instead of an obscure packer). Look both ways (at your free space and at the present directory) before transferring a file. Sysops who believe themselves incapable of error are best avoided. Friends are a valuable asset to have in life; you might only know a person by their handle but you may one day need or receive a favor from 'em. Do not limit yourself to one board; there are many available out there. Anything worth doing, be it a project or running a BBS, is done for the fun of it; thereby take everything with a grain of salt. Be aware of technological irony. Remember how the 8086 gave way to the 286 then the 386 and the 486, and how Windoze reduced those last two to running as fast as the first two. Nobody really knows why people fall for the ploy, but that's the way things go. Like hamsters and goldfish and seeds in Styrofoam cups, floppies and hard drives die. So will we all. It's not the end of the world. The best policy when encountering twits is to just ignore their posts. No piece of software is worth more than $20, no matter whose name is in the credit screen or what company published it. And then remember the documentation files found on nearly every program you have bought, swapped, or downloaded and the first filename you saw -- the one you always ignored -- README. Everything you need to know is online somewhere. G.I.G.O. and sharing and basic nutrition. Music and politics and social studies and psychology. Religion and cyberpunk and art and Kibology. Programming and joking and cooking and mythology. You might even find software or job leads that will make you a buck. Take any of these items and elucidate them into logical adult terms and apply them to the world around you or your own hardware configuration, and you will see that they hold true in some manner or another. Consider what kind of world it would be if every person -- the whole information superhigh- way -- kept current backups of their hard drives on 3.5" disks, stored in a safe place. Or if governments made it a point to compress their work into as little time and space as possible, eliminating extrenious documentation and exorbitant costs, and to ignore long-winded lobbyists or fillibustering Senators. What if everyone read their owners manuals and doc files? And it's still true, no matter how nice a computer you have -- when you do anything at all, it's gonna be slower under Windoze. +-----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | R.A.T. is a loosely-organized collaboration of hackers who have de- | | termined that reality is subjective and hazardous to your mental | | health. Our solution is to show you what's right under your nose, or | | in this case, in front of it. This Assumption was assumed by R.A.T.s | | #1 (Chrome) and #2 (The Mushroom) tandemly via the superhighway, and | | relied on the sage words of Robert Fulghum [duhh]. Distribute this | | phile freely (as you do everything else) but PLEASE don't remove this | | here credit bar, we beg of you. (This is our Warholian 15 minutes.) | | The next R.A.T. dropping is coming to a failing hard drive near YOU! | +-----------------------------------------------------------------------+